Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Buried Life

Well, I was just introduced to the most incredible thing on Earth. "The Buried Life". I've heard the name before but never knew what it was or looked into it. These four Canadian guys have created a website and webisode show (I believe it's now on MTV) where they attempt to complete their bucket list.

If you aren't aware, I'm basically obsessed with bucket lists. The fact that they made a show out of it is inspiring, yet I'm disappointed that I didn't come up with it first. Sigh. It's still amazing. I'm jealous.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Awkward Celebrity Encounters

I'm sure most of you have heard my ridiculous Sara Quin encounter, where I hopped out of a car in the street and ran up to her, awkwardly attempting to start a conversation. Well, my friends, I've done it again.

At the movie theater last night, I turned the corner from the bathroom only to see:

Although in reality it was more like:

I bumbled for a moment before retreating back to the safety of the darkened theater.

Celebrity encounters are strange. We have a feeling of comfort and familiarity with those we see on screen, yet seeing them in person is an entirely alien experience. They have no clue who we are, and we know so much of them. It leaves you with a desire to speak to them, but difficulty in deciding what to say, especially since it's usually a random situation where you have but a moment to make a decision.

I rely on the following steps to create the perfect awkward celebrity encounter.

1. Shock

In this first step, I usually have a quick realization that a celebrity is near. If it's someone I care little about, like Moka Only, the process will stop at this step and I will go on with my day. If it's one I respect/admire, let the awkwardness commence.

2. Get their attention

This will be a sudden, jarring move. Either a blurted out comment, with little cognitive intelligence behind it, or an unexpected physical movement. Either way, be sure to get the celebrity's attention and catch them off guard. Often at this stage, their eyes widen and their mouths open.

3. Embarrassment

Here is where I make contact with the celebrity. Approach them quickly, don't anticipate your steps but rather let them come as they wish, weave to and fro if necessary, it adds to the excitement. Attempt to touch them if possible, or speak whatever comes to your mind, regardless of whether it's logical or not. Treat them as if they are an old friend, and when they seem dumbfounded, become flushed and move to the last step.

4. Escape

Here I often turn and run away from the subject. They are usually still stunned by the entire experience, so will likely be less aware of your actions. You will be free shortly after this step.

5. Storytime

Now you will return to your safety zone with family or friends, and explain to them in great detail, over and over again, the encounter you just had. Be sure to speak quickly, and if possible tap your leg as you speak. The anxiety is normal, and will lessen over the following hour or two.

Congratulations, you have successfully had an awkward celebrity encounter. Please feel free to comment on your own as they undoubtedly come up.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The times they are a changin'

Well here I am again, weeks without a blog post. I'm ever so sorry loyal hordes of followers. To start with the excuse train, I've been pretty distracted the last month or so with potential life changes on the horizon. Yes, you guessed it. I'm becoming a boy.

PSYCH! (Buffy said that to Faith once in a mastermind scheme)

Although I cannot release an official disclosure of information at this point, I am hoping to start a great adventure later this year! My pining for changing things up and 'really living' may actually come to fruition and not just be additions to a list taped on my refrigerator.

In other news: Dog sitting.

Teen and I have been dog sitting two Shelties which look marginally like this:

Only with less jumping and more drooling. What I have discovered during this week and a half is that Teen is not the pet tolerant mothering-type I so envisioned. This led us to a discussion of further post-poning my baby Kobie until we are more suitable parents. I would like to re-assess the situation, and give an approximate adoption date for perhaps a year or two down the road. I will want to travel the world, after all.

Recently, Teen and I had a magical adventure in Mormon-wonderland. I'm sure her intensive description of it will be enough for the both of us here.

I will leave off with this entirely irrelevant picture for you to enjoy.

Jenn :)